Didn’t I Kill You Already?

This is so fucking retarded. There is no reason for this. But that’s all the more reason that I really want it. Just so I can walk around like Hellboy, chomping on a cigar and killing me some Nazis.


Let’s Hear It For Good Decision Making Skills

That bastion of hard-hitting journalism, The Sun, ran a story about how total fucking idiots proud new parents are naming their children after characters in the movie Avatar. So, one day, your kids will be going to school – not with Michaels and Susies – but Neytiris and Toruks. (I have no idea what those names mean, I picked them randomly out of some Avatar article. I haven’t seen the movie & don’t intend to.)

At least when the kids realize they were named after the fourth most important character in “Dances with Smurfs” they can go to court and change their names to something less ridiculous. Meanwhile, mom will be stuck forever with the butterfly tramp stamp tattoo she got during that “really wild weekend” in Branson.

2009’s Final “Fuck You”

2009 Says "So Long"

I just found an e-mail in my spam folder from the editor I’ve been working with on a story I wrote for an upcoming Chicken Soup book. Technically, the news arrived yesterday, so I guess this gets accounted for in the 2009 ledger. The publisher cut the chapter that my story was going to be in, so I’m out: no publication, no money. Figures.

2009 was such a shitty year, it’s still screwing with me … even in 2010.



It’s gotta be better than 2009.

I hope so.


… And Bring In The Machine That Goes “Ping” That’ll Really Impress Them!

“It’s been nearly a decade since terrorists used airplanes to attack our country, and last week’s attempt makes it clear that the lack of terrorist attacks have nothing to do with the increasing gauntlet of whirring machines, friskings, and arbitrary bureaucratic provisions, but simply that for the most part, there just aren’t that many terrorists trying to blow up planes.”

Joel Johnson over at Gizmodo makesĀ an excellent case for getting rid of the TSA, which stands for … um … not sure about the “T”, but I’m pretty sure the last part stands for Suck-Ass.

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Database Go Bye-Bye

So, the old database with all my posts went tits-up and I lost everything. I wasn’t too happy about that, especially since this is one of the few things I don’t back up religiously. I guess that’ll change soon. Anyway, starting over – with 100% better posts!